Something is missing. Life is moving fast, things are getting done, but something is missing. We do more nowadays, know more about our planet, hear news from across the globe faster than we ever have. But something is missing.

We read the news while having conversation, we watch a video while answering a text message, we eat dinner while catching up on email. We do so much! And yet something is missing.

For at the end of the day, when so much has been done, how do we feel? Do we feel satisfaction at a job well done, serenity in knowing that we were fully engaged in our work, self-assured that we have given our all? Or have we spread ourselves too thin, stressed ourselves by doing too much at once, worn ourselves out by working hard, not smart?

Readers of this blog know about mindfulness, the practice of paying attention to the moment. Last week, I led two groups in a mindfulness exercise, and after each meditation the group spoke about the serenity that comes from being fully engaged in whatever we are doing. The change in mood after the exercises had concluded was palpable: relaxed faces, calm body posture, and perhaps most importantly, less anxiety-driven critical speech.

I know many people who claim they can multi-task (this seems to be more common with women). Even if multiple tasks can be worked on at once, the brain’s attention is divided. Attention shifts rapidly between the tasks, so less important parts of the task get lost in the shuffle, and we become more anxious trying to juggle more than our brain is meant to handle.

In my office, there is a second computer screen that I have pushed off the side. I have never used it, though using two screens may make my job easier, faster, perhaps slightly more efficient. It’s not worth the loss of focus that comes from having more than one thing in front of me. Even now, as I write this, my phone sits on my desk. I hope it won’t ring or buzz or beep. Because if it does, I will probably look at it, and it will take a moment or two before I can refocus on what I am writing. I would probably be better served putting it on Do Not Disturb.

We are an interrupted culture. We have set ourselves up that way; we have allowed interruptions to creep into every nook and cranny of our lives. And we have paid for it. We have paid in anxiety, in stress, in valuing quantity over quality.

Let’s take our attention back. Let’s do one thing at a time, but do it well. Let’s have a conversation. Let’s just type an email. Let’s eat dinner, not while we read, but while we eat dinner.

Let’s learn the true definition of attention: “the regarding of someone or something as interesting or important”. Just one something at a time.

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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