We psychotherapists are in a bit of a bind. We need to care, to care deeply and sincerely, about every person who bares their soul in our offices. On the other hand, we need to take care of ourselves and not let our work adversely affect us.
But it’s inevitable, at least occasionally, that the work catches up with us. After all, we sit and willingly open ourselves up to the worst of what the world has to offer. Shame, depression, obsession, abuse, trauma… It gets to all good therapists, perhaps specifically because they are good therapists.
I recently spoke with a supervisor of mine who has seen her share of tragedy, of the pain of others. She said, “Thank God, it never gets easier”.
Thank God it never gets easier to hear about tragedy. Thank God it never gets easier to sit with someone and feel their pain. Thank God we can never flippantly or callously regard the struggles of others. And if we do, if that ever does happen, it’s a tell-tale sign that something is awry.
We need to take care of ourselves, to make sure we are getting our needs met, that we are setting appropriate boundaries, engaging in self-care, sustaining strong spiritual beliefs, and have incredible supervision. And then we can be human, and feel the pain of others, and help them help themselves. And we can thank God that it never gets easier.
Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com.
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