I have become fascinated with the development of spirituality in the human being. Specifically: how do we learn about, understand, and integrate the concept of a Higher Being? How do we learn to relate to this Being? Why do some view this Being as benevolent, malevolent, punishing, promising? Indifferent?
Where do these concepts come from?
Certainly, religious upbringing plays a significant part in our conceptualization. The content of the particular seforim or Chazal that we are taught certainly has an impact. But there is one concept that has the most impact on how we truly relate to God: the relationship we had with our parents and authority figures in our childhood.
The job of childhood is learning. From birth through adolescence, we investigate and formulate ideas about the world and our place in it. Chovos HaLevavos describes the progression of a child’s reliance first on its mother for sustenance, then on its father for financial support, and so on until the child-turned-adult relies upon God. There is a natural progression to this. It seems that with ideal, healthy development we can naturally come to rely and depend on a Higher Power for all our needs.
But what happens when our models for God - our parents and authority figures - are deficient? What happens when they don’t meet our needs, when they criticize harshly, when they are abusive? What, then, do we learn about authority? What do we learn about trust? About God?
I’m on the lookout for sources - Torah, professional, or otherwise - that address this topic. As always, I look forward to your feedback.
Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com.
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