Scared. Angry. Sad. Grieving. Terrified. Hopeless.

These are the emotions I witnessed during the past week in Israel. I spoke with natives and tourists, religious and secular, in Hebrew and English. We are all scared, sad, and angry. And we don’t know what to do.

Oh, we think we do. We talk about what needs to get done, what the government should do, what kind of weapons the citizens should carry. We are angry, and we say things like “Death to the Arabs!”

But we don’t know what to do.

Deep down, we feel sad, scared, and helpless. We are traumatized. There is nothing that we as individuals can do to change the danger of the current situation. Let me say that again. There is nothing that we as individuals can do to change the danger of the current situation.

Talking won’t change the situation. Neither will yelling. Or getting angry. Or posting long rants on Facebook.

These may feel good in the moment, and maybe they can be cathartic, but they won’t change the situation.

There is nothing we can do to alleviate the danger. Nothing. It’s a sad realization, and maybe it’s harsh, but it’s true.

At the Shabbos kiddush this morning, I had a similar conversation with my fellow congregants. I found that some were so angry, so seriously shaken, that they could not get past the point of “what we should be doing”. I won’t get into details, but it was rather violent.

“Maybe so”, I said, “but we are not in a position to actually make that happen. Unfortunately, we are not in an influential position in the Israeli government.”

Deaf ears, my friends. Deaf ears. Fear and the anger it activates make noise that drowns out reason.

So, if you grant that point - that there is nothing we can do to change the danger of the current situation - then what can we do? There must be something we can do. We can’t just wring our hands and watch. That is a recipe for trauma. What can we do?

Two things, I think. Support and trust in God.

Support. We can all be supportive of our brothers and sisters in Israel. Know someone in Israel? Pick up the phone to say “I’m thinking about you”. Send an email. Pray. Donate money to an Israeli charity, or to the IDF. Pray again. Plan a trip to Israel. Yes, now.

And stay spiritually connected. When times get tough, we naturally think of solutions to get ourselves out of them. And when times are particularly terrifying, we focus all the more on what needs doing. Even if there is nothing. All that postulating serves to shift our reliance from God to ourselves. And that is never a good thing.

On the Light Rail train in Jerusalem, each door has a sign which states, “Please do not lean on the door”. On one of the doors, underneath that sign, someone cleverly put a sticker: “Rather, on our Father in Heaven”.

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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