Visiting a friend on Friday night a while back, my parents enjoyed the traditional Ashkenazi Shabbos dinner. While ladling out the chicken soup, the hostess commented, “It’s so comforting to know that - wherever you go Friday night - there will always be chicken soup, gefilte fish, and potato kugel on the table.”

Thing is, we hadn’t had any of those things in a while. (Another thing: there are many other sects of Jewry who don’t have gefilte fish in their tradition. They have their own traditions, like the Sephardic mazza. Yum.)

My mother is what you could call a gourmet non-traditionalist cook. Soup was cream of broccoli and cauliflower, fish a side of teriyaki salmon, and kugel a spinach pie topped with a pastry lattice.

Different, but good. And different, to me, makes a meal more interesting. There is comfort in sameness and predictability, but there is excitement in the new and different. I was never one of those people who walk into a restaurant or coffee shop and are greeted with, “Good morning, Jack. The usual?”

I like variety.

A friend told me this morning that he is taking his life in a new direction. He spoke of leaving the comfort of the familiar in favor of the possibility of positive change. “I’m in uncharted waters”, he said.

Change is uncomfortable, unfamiliar. But if we are to change, we need to be okay with being uncomfortable. The journey of life is fraught with unexpected challenges, dark twists and turns, and unpredictable predicaments. But if we are to live, and live well, we need to get out of our comfort zones.

On the ship of life, in uncharted waters, I would have a bowl of soup to keep me warm. It’s comfortable and familiar. It’s a mushroom chestnut bisque.

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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