Some time ago, a group of my friends put on a performance of improvised comedy. The performance itself went very well. There’s really nothing like the energy of hilarious improv created live on stage.

What you probably couldn’t have guessed, watching the performance, is that the actors spent many hours practicing before the performance. Improvisation requires practice - paradoxically, perhaps. For all its spontaneity, improv functions within very specific rules. You can actually go to improv classes to learn how to function in an improv environment. And one of the first things you will learn in improv school is to agree.  

If we are improvising a scene, and I say, “Oh man! We’re stuck in traffic!”, you need to agree with the premise that I just set. You can say “Oh no, how will we ever make it to the bank robbery?” or, “That’s why I brought these personal helicopters!”, but you should never deny the premise by saying something like, “Actually, we’re on the couch eating Hershey Kisses”. That stops the scene cold, and is a sure way to kiss your improv act goodbye. (You can see why I wasn’t asked to join the performance.)

Just agree. What may seem like a childish concept meant for no-collar comedians can actually be a powerful tool for approaching life. Agreeing to experience what we are given, to be present for whatever life throws our way, we approach life with more serenity that we would have otherwise.

We are often presented with unpleasant situations. We’re in physical or emotional pain, discomfort, or distress. When that happens, we have a choice. We can moan and groan and grit our teeth (my natural response, I admit), or we can agree to be present for the experience. We can be fully signed up, fully on board for whatever God has planned for us at this given moment.

Essentially, instead of fighting the distress (and expending unnecessary energy), this approach asks us to engage fully with life. At the present moment, our sensations may be pleasant, or not; but we are asked to experience it as it is. We need not waste energy on fighting that which we cannot change. We can accept it and experience it. We can be in it. We can agree.

In agreement, there is acceptance. And in acceptance, there is peace. Even in traffic.

Shimmy Feintuch, LCSW CASAC-G maintains a private practice in Brooklyn, NY, and Washington Heights, NYC, with specialties in addictions and anxiety. He is also an Adjunct Professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work at Yeshiva University. Contact: (530) 334-6882 or shimmyfeintuch@gmail.com. 

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