Our Gemara on Amud Beis sheds light on an attempt by Yehudis, the wife of Rav Chiyya, to retroactively annul her marriage through a scheme. Although her plan ultimately failed, her actions raise questions about her circumstances and motivations. Fortunately, other Gemaras provide insight into her life:

In Yevamos 65b, we learn that Yehudis had two sets of twins with extremely challenging pregnancies and labors. In fact, she successfully carried out a scheme where she disguised herself and sought counsel from her husband, aiming to find a halachic permission to permanently render herself infertile:

Rabbi Ḥiyya’s sons, Yehuda and Ḥizkiyya, were twins, one fully developed after nine months, and the other at the beginning of the seventh month. Yehudis, Rabbi Ḥiyya's wife, experienced intense pain during childbirth due to these unusual deliveries. To avoid being recognized by her husband, she came before him in disguise, asking whether a woman is obligated to be fruitful and multiply. When he answered in the negative, she took an infertility potion.

The matter eventually came to light, and Rabbi Ḥiyya discovered Yehudis's actions. His response reflects his deep desire for more children: "If only you had given birth to one more belly for me." Rabbi Ḥiyya recognized that his sons Yehuda and Ḥizkiyya, who were born as twins, went on to become prominent Torah scholars. Pazi and Tavi, Rabbi Ḥiyya's twin daughters, also achieved distinction as matriarchs of families of Torah scholars.

Despite their challenging relationship, Rabbi Ḥiyya made efforts to show kindness to his wife. He would find things she appreciated, wrap them in his shawl, and present them to her (ibid 63a).

To Yehudis' credit, her actions were not solely driven by deceit. In her desperation to avoid pregnancy, she sought halachic guidance from her husband. She resorted to a scheme rather than directly violating halachic principles, despite her distress.

It's important to recognize that even great individuals, including revered scholars, can experience challenging marriages. Circumstances are complex, and judgments should be made cautiously. Life's complexities sometimes lead even good people into less-than-ideal relationships.

A modern historical example can be found in the case of the Chazon Ish's wife, who was known for her unhappiness and lack of respect toward her husband. The Chazon Ish, despite the difficulties, remained loyal and kind to her throughout their marriage. There was a significant age difference between them (15 years), and information about her seniority was concealed from the Chazon Ish prior to their marriage. (See this link: https://www.ynet.co.il/article/4096403 )  And even though members of his family counseled him to annul the marriage, he felt it was in proper to remain in the marriage; loyal and kind to her throughout the years. Unfortunately, it also seems that despite his intentions and herculean efforts, there was a lack of love and warmth between them.

One of the Chazon Ish's close Talmidim, Rav Dr. Zvi Yehuda, who learned daily with him for a decade, shared candid and nuanced insights about the couple in an interview. 

He said, he never heard the Chazon Ish speak harshly toward her or lose his patience, and she was quite bitter and disrespectful, and most people therefore wrote her off as being mentally unbalanced. However, Rav Dr. Tzvi felt that to be a convenient narrative to explain a much more complex person and circumstance. Despite the great efforts that the Chazon Ish made to show her respect, it was apparent that, at least, in the western notion of romantic love, there was much lacking. For example, he said, “When I heard the Chazon Ish and his sister interact (Rebetzin Kanievsky), there was this clear warmth between the two. Unfortunately, that was not present between him and his wife. She was an intelligent, independent woman who sacrificed everything for her husband's success. Despite her best intentions, it did not work out well for her.

(This prior paragraph is a compilation of paraphrase sentences from the interview. You can look at the transcript in its Hebrew original. It is fascinating and nuanced. He had great deference for the Chazon Ish but also portrays the “Ish”, and not just the “Chazon”. Here is the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ONLg9uG3xAtR5yLWaw1h2z4oa4D9Guvk/view?usp=sharing )

These discussions provide valuable perspective, revealing that even great individuals grapple with trying circumstances and strive to navigate them as best they can. It's essential to remember that the decision to remain in a difficult marriage or to seek divorce is deeply personal and complex.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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