Our Gemara on Amud Beis makes a reference to a Torah discussion that apparently transpired while the participants were hiding out in a cave. Rav Yaakov Emden comments on this: You see how much they cherished Torah, that even under duress hiding out in fear, they engaged in study.

Torah scholarship is in many ways different than other intellectual pursuits. Art, music, science and philosophy flourish with emotional, social and financial stability. However, since Torah is also a spiritual endeavor, it derives its greatest strengths and power from a divine source. Physicality and materialism are inimical to spirituality, and obstruct and distract from divine flow.

Our sages taught (Berachos 63b):

מנין שאין דברי תורה מתקיימין אלא במי שממית עצמו עליה

From where is it derived that matters of Torah are only retained by one who kills himself over it? As it is stated: “This is the Torah: When one dies in a tent” (Numbers 19:14); true Torah study demands the total devotion of one who is willing to dedicate his life in the tent of Torah.

Maor Eynayim (Chukas) and Arvei Nachal, (Bereishis 5) both explain that it does not mean literally dying, nor does it mean a general self sacrifice. Rather, it means the killing off of self and ego, in order to remove any biases, and be available to apprehend the full spiritual truth. This is why it uses the phrase “kills himself” instead of merely saying “dies over it“. This is a form of self annihilation that allows for the rebirth of expanded consciousness and life.

And finally, looking at it on a psychological level, suffering and religious oppression can lead a person to appreciate and desire Torah even more. It is human nature, that when something is taken away from us that we first appreciate it. A rather bizarre but compelling example takes place in the biblical narrative regarding the generation of the spies and their reaction to being sent back into the wilderness. Oddly, even though at first the Jews were rebelling, panicking, and refusing to accept Moshe’s encouragement and admonition that they absolutely have the ability to conquer the land of Israel, once God sent them back into exile and wandering, they had a change of heart. They said (Bamidbar 14:41):

“We are prepared to go up to the place that Hashem has spoken of, for we were wrong.”

Now they were so resolute that they insisted on going into battle, despite Moshe‘s warning that God was not with them and they would not succeed. When our enemies persecute us and try to take away our religious rights, that is when we first start to fight. May we merit the wisdom to appreciate our tradition and way of life without having to suffer oppression.  

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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