Our Gemara on Amud Aleph states an interesting practice of Rav Zeira :

⁦It is related that when Rabbi Zeira had a complaint against a person who insulted him, he would pace back and forth before him and present himself, so that the person could come and appease him. Rabbi Zeira made himself available so that it would be easy for the other person to apologize to him.

It should be noted that this practice must be taking place AFTER Rav Zeira formally registered his complaint. I say this, because otherwise it would be a direct contradiction to the Rambam’s prescription in Hilchos Deos (6:6):

⁦If one man committed a sin against another man, the one sinned against shall not remain in silent hate against the sinner, as it is said of the wicked: "And Absalom spoke unto Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon" (Second Samuel. 13.22); but, on the contrary, it is obligatory upon him to make known to him and say unto him: "Why have you done to me thus and such, and wherefore have you sinned against me in that particular matter?"; for, it is said: "And thou shalt indeed rebuke thy neighbor" (Lev. 19.17). 

Perhaps Rav Zeira felt this person to not be of the quality of character to accept a rebuke. However, in such a case Rambam advises the following (ibid 6:9):

If someone sinned against you, and you do not want to rebuke them because he is unusually unrefined or his mind is distorted, you may forgive him in your heart as an extra act of piety.  The Torah only forbids holding back from rebuke if it causes you to secretly hate him.

However, if this is so, we have to ask why the Rambam did not add the possibility of what Rav Zeira did into the mix?  In other words, why did the Rambam not codify this mid-range act of piety, to stroll back and forth hoping that he will bump into you and consider a change of heart?  It would seem to be a great act of kindness to help arouse him to come to his senses on his own, in a subtle manner?

I believe the Rambam learned from the outcome of a similar case that this is a bad idea, as the Gemara records. Rav Zeira had good intentions, but a similar story where Rav tried the same thing did not end well:

It is further related that Rav had a complaint against a certain butcher who insulted him.The butcher did not come before him to apologize. On Yom Kippur eve, Rav said: I will go and appease him. He met his student Rav Huna, who said to him: Where is my Master going? He said to him: I am going to appease so-and-so. Rav Huna called Rav by his name and said: Abba is going to kill a person, for surely that person’s end will not be good. Rav went and stood by him. He found the butcher sitting and splitting the head of an animal. The butcher raised his eyes and saw him. He said to him: Are you Abba? Go, I have nothing to say to you. While he was splitting the head, one of the bones of the head flew out and struck him in the throat and killed him, thereby fulfilling Rav Huna’s prediction.

It would seem that when you try to be too nice, and the other person still remains obstinate, it actually may increase their likelihood of being punished, as it magnifies his sin. Thus, the Rambam advised quietly forgiving someone who cannot tolerate a rebuke, in your heart, if you choose to do so as an extra act of piety, but not to try to influence him subtly. 

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

Do you like what you see? Please subscribe and also forward any articles you enjoy to your friends, (enemies too, why not?)