Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 22nd, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph recounts critical figures at particular junctures in Jewish history: “From the days of Moses until the days of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, we do not find unparalleled greatness in Torah knowledge and unparalleled greatness in secular matters, including wealth and high political office, combined in one place, i.e., in a single individual… Rav Adda bar Ahava says: I also say a similar statement, that from the days of …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 21st, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses why we do not judge capital cases on Erev Shabbos: “And if we say: We should judge him on Shabbos eve, conclude his verdict on Shabbos, and kill him on Sunday, you are found to have caused a delay in his verdict, as the accused will have to wait overnight knowing he is condemned to death.  And if we say: We should judge him on Shabbos eve and conclude his verdict on Sunday, the judges will forget thei …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

January 16th, 2025

  This week we begin a new Sefer of the Torah and Parashat Shemot, we encounter the powerful story of the Jewish midwives, Shifra & Puah, whose courageous defiance of Pharaoh’s decree sparked the birth of the Jewish redemption.  Their actions provide us a compelling lesson about not falling prey to the present forces of the outside world. Amidst the oppression and cruelty of Mitzrayim, their actions shed light on the psycholog …
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Author: Talli Yehuda Rosenbaum

January 14th, 2025

Many contemporary how-to guides to Jewish marriage in the Orthodox world encourage husbands to shoulder full responsibility for their wives’ happiness at the expense of their own. In the yeshiva world this is known as “being mevater.” Though teaching young men to be unconditionally kind and respectful to their wives sounds progressive, Rabbi Scott and Talli discuss the potential problems with this approach. Listen to the episode …
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Author: Mordechai Rhine, Rabbi, Mediator

January 12th, 2025

The smoke detector sounds. It is an emergency. Without question we must do something. Studies show that in case of fire many people will instinctively retrace their steps to exit the building through the same doorway that they came in.   In marriage too, when alarms sound and a sense of urgency sets in, there is a tendency for many people to instinctively think that they should retrace their steps. When there are problems, they think that th …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 20th, 2025

Our Gemara on amud aleph discusses various safeguards that are put in place to advocate for the defendant in a capital case during the deliberation phase of the trial. Once one of the judges offers arguments in the defendant’s defense, the judge can no longer advocate for conviction. However, the reverse is possible: a judge who argued for conviction may also offer arguments for exoneration. Rav, however, offers a key distinction, which she …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 19th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses extra efforts to defend a suspect in a capital case, emphasizing the importance of finding every possible angle to mitigate the crime. One aspect of this approach is that the court will favor and allow appeals based on new evidence or novel arguments for exoneration, as opposed to later discovering arguments for conviction. The Mishna teaches that in cases of capital law, the court may bring the accused back to b …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 17th, 2025

There is an Israeli saying: “The two dead drivers were both right.” Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses situations where it is morally acceptable for Beis Din to seek compromise, even when strict law might dictate different rights. When the verse states, “Justice, justice, shall you follow,” one mention of “justice” refers to judgment, and the other refers to compromise. How is this understood? Consider a scenari …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 17th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Beis offers an intriguing expression of praise for the sage, Mar Ukva: "He who has light upon him, like Moses, who is called the son of Batya." The commentaries question why Mar Ukva is specifically described in this way, and why Moshe is principally identified as the son of Batya (who, according to the Midrash, was Pharaoh’s daughter and raised him). Rashi cites a tradition that Mar Ukva’s initial repentance and aw …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 16th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an intriguing legal case with metaphysical implications: In a case where someone was distressed about money left as an inheritance by his father, unable to locate it, the master of the dream, i.e., the angel overseeing dreams, appeared and revealed the exact amount and location of the money, but added that it was second tithe (maaser sheni). Upon finding the money as described, the case was brought before the Sa …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 15th, 2025

The Mishna on amud aleph states that witnesses were intimidated with warnings about the catastrophic spiritual and physical consequences of false testimony, aiming to deter potential perjurers. Our Gemara on amud aleph explores the specific message conveyed to these witnesses. Initially, the Gemara considers a warning based on a verse indicating that false testimony leads to starvation through famine. This idea is rejected because the rabbis reas …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 14th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the status of the parents of children who marry each other (known in Yiddish as machatonim), and whether their closeness disqualifies them from serving as witnesses: The father of the groom and the father of the bride can testify about each other, as they are considered to each other like a lid on a barrel. The Gemara uses a metaphor of a lid on a barrel to describe the relationship between the two parents/in-law …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

January 10th, 2025

Parshat Vayechi not only marks the conclusion to the Sefer of Bereshit, but also the end of Avot’s journey in establishing Bnei Yisrael. As Yaacov Avineu’s life approaches its end, he gathers his sons to bestow upon them his final individualized blessings, and in doing so provides us with a final powerful lesson for eternity.   Yaacov Avineu takes the unique approach by tailoring his words specifically to the character, strengths …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

January 10th, 2025

Dear Therapist:  I have a question I would like to hear your opinion on. I am an American bachur learning in Eretz Yisroel and I share a dirah with 5 other bachurim. In general, we try to keep the dirah clean, including a thorough cleaning once a week. About half a year ago we took in a bachur that apparently has major OCD. Every night after everyone else goes to sleep he gets to work sprayin …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

January 10th, 2025

Dear Therapist: Thank you for allowing us to gain so much from your collective wisdom each week. I'm in my fifties and watch my weight pretty carefully. I have a normal BMI. I avoid all the bad food at my workplace and stick to my healthy diet instead. Shabbos is my day off. My eating habits recently came up in therapy. My therapist felt that I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  She said I should not be limiting my eating this way. S …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW

January 9th, 2025

Dear Therapist: My 5th grade boy does not seem to be able to discern between playful teasing and really being bullied. When his friends tease him, his reaction is way out of proportion, which only leads to more problems with his friends because they find his reaction so overblown. My son doesn't seem to get it and complains to me that he is being "bullied." How can I help him see the difference, and get along better with his friends?   Respo …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 13th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the halachic and hashkafic implications of the legalities surrounding conspiring witnesses. There is a fundamental and intrinsic illogic to the law. On one hand, witnesses are considered the highest form of verification, and ordinarily, if two sets of witnesses contradict each other, it results in a stalemate. We cannot assume that one group is more credible than the other. Yet, if the second set of witnesses di …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 12th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph describes an incident during the reign of King Chizkiyahu and the impact, or lack thereof, that a group of evil conspirators had. Specifically, King Chizkiyahu did not need to take into account the behaviors or assessments of wicked people, and their opinions would not carry the same weight with God, even though they represented a large portion of the population. Shebna, a steward and minister in King Hezekiah’s cou …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 10th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses why the Mishna needs to delineate the disqualification of two different kinds of gamblers: one who plays with dice and one who bets on pigeons. This Gemara holds that the reason a gambler is disqualified is that betting is tantamount to theft. How so? Because the person who is betting doesn’t fully commit to losing, and therefore, when the winning bettor collects winnings from the losers, it is essentially …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 10th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses why a career gambler is not trusted as a witness: Rav Sheshes says: Those who play dice are disqualified because they are not involved in settling the world, i.e., in productive occupations that demand hard work. What is this flaw exactly, and why does it disqualify them? Rashi here offers two factors which, combined, lead to a person who cannot be trusted to testify on financial matters because his perception is …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 9th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the concept of Zabl”a, where two litigants choose a judge, and those two judges then select a third. Chaim V’Chessed (124) compares this to the encounter of Chessed (total giving) with Gevurah (strength, boundaries), which manifests Tiferes (compassion and mercy). The idea that stability is achieved through the encounter of two, producing a balanced third, is a recurring pattern throughout the physic …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 8th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the well-known verse in Tehillim (16:8): “I have set Hashem before myself continuously.” Rav Ḥana bar Bizna says that Rabbi Shimon Ḥasida says: One who prays needs to see himself as if the Divine Presence is opposite him, as it is stated: “I have set the Lord always before me” (Psalms 16:8). The simple meaning of this is to visualize, when praying, that one is actually standing before …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 7th, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the status of Tamar’s mother, Ma’acha, and whether she was Jewish at the time of Tamar’s conception. Ma’acha was a “Captive Woman,” subject to the laws described in Devarim (21:10–14): When you [an Israelite warrior] take the field against your enemies, and Hashem your God delivers them into your power, and you take some of them captive, and you see among the captives a …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

January 1st, 2025

Parshat Vayigash, nestled in the heart of Yosef’s story, is a powerful account of familial strife, emotional cutoff, and ultimately, the profound journey towards reconciliation. This story not only provides a glimpse into the complexities of human relationships but also offers profound insights into the corrosiveness of emotional cutoff and the transformative power of reconciliation. Parshat Vayigash opens with the words “Vayigas …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 6th, 2025

Our Gemara offers a homiletic analysis of the verse in Mishlei (31:30): "Grace is false, beauty is transient and empty; but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised." At its most straightforward level, this verse teaches us not to be overly captivated by external charm or physical beauty, as they are fleeting and superficial. Instead, it is inner character, particularly the fear of God, that is praiseworthy and enduring. The verse disting …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 5th, 2025

Our Gemara on amud aleph highlights the importance of being sensitive to human nature, even when acting on good intentions. One must always consider how actions will be perceived by others. For example, if the Kohen Gadol suffers a personal loss and is sitting shiva, the Mashuach She-Avar (a former High Priest who temporarily served in the current Kohen Gadol's place, such as during a period of ritual impurity) should not visit him. Despite any g …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 3rd, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses legal exemptions from the obligation to return lost items, focusing on situations where retrieval of the object would conflict with the dignity of the finder: “You shall not see your brother’s ox or his sheep wandering and ignore them; you shall return them to your brother” (Deuteronomy 22:1). The use of the unusual phrase “and ignore them,” rather than a more direct “do not ig …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 3rd, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph describes the careful safeguards implemented in capital cases. To prevent the court from being carried away by an overly zealous and condemning spirit, an extraordinary safeguard is enacted: if all the judges unanimously vote to convict, the defendant is acquitted: "Rav Kahana says: In a Sanhedrin where all the judges saw fit to convict the defendant in a case of capital law, they acquit him. …It is since it is lea …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 2nd, 2025

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph describes the process by which the Davidic monarchy determined whether to engage in warfare, once the king proposed this course of action: "The Sages immediately sought advice from Ahithophel to determine whether or not it was appropriate to go to war at that time and how they should conduct themselves; and they consulted the Sanhedrin in order to receive the requisite permission to wage a war under those circumstances; a …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

January 1st, 2025

Our Gemara discusses how many judges are required to preside over the case of an animal that gores, determining that it requires 23 judges, similar to a human capital case. The Gemara then poses a hypothetical question: What would be the status of an animal that ascended Mount Sinai during the time it was forbidden? The relevant verses describe the temporary sanctity conferred upon Mount Sinai prior to the revelation and the giving of the Torah ( …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 31st, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an incident where Rabbi Zeira initially declined to accept Rabbinic ordination out of humility but later changed his mind based on a particular teaching: Rabbi Zeira would habitually hide himself so that they would not ordain him. He did this because Rabbi Elazar said: "Always be obscure and remain alive," meaning the more humble and unknown you make yourself, the longer you will live. However, when Rabbi Zeira …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

December 27th, 2024

Parshat Miketz, recounts the dramatic rise of Yosef in Egypt, offers a profound exploration of the psychological concept of resilience. Yosef’s journey from being thrown into a pit by his brothers to eventually becoming a high-ranking official in Paroah’s court is a testament to the human capacity to endure and overcome adversity.   The psychological concept of resilience is defined as the ability to bounce back from difficult ex …
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Author: Yehuda Krohn, Psy.D.

December 21st, 2024

I recently sat with a client and listened to a recording he’d made of himself, years earlier, playing the guitar and singing the song of his favorite artist. My client and I marveled at how meticulously he’d reproduced the riffs, the tones, and the timing of the artist. My client, who is older than I am, is no longer able to play the guitar; his voice is no longer quite able to hit the notes. It was a bittersweet moment. It highlighte …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 30th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph-Beis recounts the heroic martyrdom of Rabbi Yehuda ben Bava, who defied a Roman decree against ordaining judges, risking his life to ensure the chain of semicha (ordination) originating from Moshe Rabbeinu would not be broken. The Gemara tells the story as follows: “That man will be remembered favorably, and Rabbi Yehuda ben Bava is his name, as had it not been for him… the laws of fines would have ceased to …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 27th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph recounts how the sage Shmuel HaKattan took responsibility in order to spare a colleague from public embarrassment: There was an incident involving Rabban Gamliel, who said to the Sages: “Bring me seven of the Sages early tomorrow morning to the loft designated for convening a court to intercalate the year.” He went to the loft early the next morning and found eight Sages there. Rabban Gamliel said: “Who …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 27th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses the scriptural sources for determining the number of judges required to rule on Jewish calendar calculations: The Gemara asks: Corresponding to what was it determined that the intercalation procedure should incorporate these numbers of three, five, and seven judges? …One said: These numbers correspond to the number of Hebrew words in each of the three verses of the priestly benediction (see Bamidbar 6:24&n …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 26th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses the status of a person’s ability to testify about himself. We have a general rule that close relatives are disqualified from serving as witnesses for each other. Extending this logic, a person is considered his own close relative and, therefore, cannot give testimony about himself. The Maharal (Gur Aryeh, Bereishis 46:15) expands on this idea, offering a profound insight into the role of the opposite gende …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 25th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph debates whether Moshe’s statement in Devarim (1:17) reflects a hint of arrogance on his part: “And the cause that is too hard for you, you shall bring to me, and I will hear it.” Rabbi Ḥanina, and some say Rabbi Yoshiya, argues that this statement displayed a degree of presumptuousness. As a result, Moshe was later punished… Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak objects to this critique of Moshe. He points …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, DHL, LCSW-R

December 24th, 2024

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph relates one of my all-time favorite Talmudic aphorisms: When our love was strong, we could have slept on a bed that was the width of a sword. Now that our love is not strong, a bed of sixty cubits is not big enough for us. The tone of this aphorism is defeated and pessimistic. It seems to reflect the perspective of an older married person who no longer feels the passion that once animated his relationship. However, the Ge …
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Author: Elan Javanfard, L.M.F.T.

December 18th, 2024

Parshat Vayeshev unfolds a gripping narrative centered around the complex dynamics of the family of Yaacov. A closer examination reveals an intriguing interplay of psychological concepts, particularly birth order and sibling rivalry, as we delve into the lives of Yosef and his brothers. Humorist Sam Levenson wrote, “Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.” While families prepar …
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